We Are Dealers In Hope

Is it mental, emotional, chemical, or spiritual?

Is it mental, emotional, chemical, or spiritual?

Is it mental, emotional, chemical, or spiritual?

 

Today I am having one of those days; I have been reasonably productive and knocked some things off my to-do list. Yet, here I sit now writing this while in the back of my mind; there’s this strange, anxious feeling that I am not doing anything that I am stuck.

So, where does this come from, and why does it happen?  I have a ton of things I need to do, and right now, I can’t be bothered to start any of them. I mean, I literally can’t force myself to start. So, right now, I seem to be getting away with writing.

So what is causes this, is there an underlying cause, or am I just plain lazy. I discovered a long time ago that my brain is a weird and convoluted place, most days, I can deal with my thoughts and force myself into some action. Yet I look at all of these allegedly successful people living their best lives, and I wonder to myself, why can’t that be me.  Well, why can’t it? I have no answer at this stage. I have studied so many different philosophies and practices’ some of them downright weird, yet still, here I sit. I have tried meditating with some success. I have attempted coaching and counseling. I have even tried medication from the pharmaceutical to the somewhat more exotic types.

Hence the title of this post. Maybe I’m just plain lazy and couldn’t be arsed to do anything. But surely ordinary people don’t wake up with no energy and could happily lie in bed all day? Indeed ordinary people don’t have to fight to get up and take a shower. I don’t think I’m depressed; for the most part, I am happy with my life, except for the bit concerning working and creating.  I have many unfinished projects where I get halfway or even almost finished, and I abandon them.  It feels like I am always jumping onto the next and the next and the next. I was hoping that something would stick and ignite some passion. And once again, I spaced out and looked for something to listen to whilst writing and then got sucked into the new Dolby Atmos recordings on iTunes.

So what do I do, where do I start, do you feel like I do?  Will talking about it help? Will my searching for a way to live my best life help you?  So many questions are running around and through my brain.  I want to be successful and care for my family, be financially secure and leave a legacy. Let’s be honest who doesn’t want to do that?

I honestly am in a strange place; I don’t have the answers. I’m not even sure if this post will help anyone. But maybe if we share our challenges, we can figure out how to get through them together.  I know I have a problem, I do, but perhaps it’s not the one I thought.

So, in conclusion, after that ramble, I still don’t know. What I do know is I won’t stop looking, and I won’t stop trying. I would love to hear from you and get your thoughts on this. So pop me a line in the comments below.

 

Until next time,

Keep on keeping on,

D